Three weeks! Can you believe it? This week has by far been the most difficult at times especially for someone who prided herself on not getting out of bed unless she got at least eight hours of sleep...
Cumulative fatigue: a sought after phenomenon during marathon buildups which means that once taper time comes around, the rest period before a marathon, will allow the body to absorb all that hard work and make us strong and fast. Does the same apply for cumulative fatigue suffered from several weeks of 4ish hours of sleep at night?
Ich don't think so.
But as it so often happens, when you're at the brink of breaking, something gives and a glimmer of light appears at the end of the tunnel. In my case, just as the crying started up again (*this time not just hormonally but with reason) and I started passing out with the baby on my chest (*dangerous!) I decided to give pumping a try to allow Chris for special bonding time with Max at midnight. Meaning that that night, I managed to sleep almost 6 continuous hours in one go. EUREKA!!
What else is new?
- I have graduated from mesh hospital panties back to regular underwear;
- We met with a lactation consultant who man-handled my boobs for 90 minutes and showed me tons of tips and tricks on how to nurse efficiently and re-assured me that this is a normal phase;
- Max, Zola and I went for a solo stroll in the park for the first time since he was in the belly;
- I'm wearing pants other than spandex or maternity jeans;
- I've started looking at work related emails and am plotting my comeback (not without anxiety);
- Max had his first bath time and hated it. The second night went better. Turns out, baby has curls post bath (cue mother's excitement!);
- Because I left the house for farther than across the street for coffee, I've actually looked in the mirror.
When people say "it goes so quickly", it sounds like such a cliché... but I can already tell how much bigger Max is getting. We're getting the occasional smile when he happens to lock eyes in the right moment. He is quite strong in the neck and core when angry and trying to latch, not so much during tummy time. We now have alert phases outside of the sleep/ nurse cycle when he just hangs out, elicits strange noises and looks around (cross-eyed) and those are precious.
With the weather improving, I have been eyeing all runners in shorts enviously and am dying to get back to it. I miss my running partner, starting the day with a sunrise (outdoors) and the physical accomplishment of a few miles under one's belt. Plus, there's a small race at the end of May waiting for me from here to Coney Island.
But more on that when running becomes a remote possibility. Until then I'll be walking around Brooklyn with my baby in a carrier, proud as a new mama because I made him, I've single-handedly kept him alive for almost a month and I'm out walking.
What's your superpower?