Do what you love

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In his commencement address to the students of Stanford University in 2005, Steve Jobs said "You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. [...] And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. When I quit my office job and started my career in wellness, a lot of people thought I was crazy. I had been in said job for several years, it provided a very healthy paycheck that included all benefits that one could imagine (and then some) . Still I was lacking passion for what I was doing...

And on top of it, the job had made me sick. For half of the time, that I spent there, I suffered from sciatica, a condition which once diagnosed,turned out not to be rooted in a physical fall or injury. It was a consequence of the fact that my current situation had made me incredibly anxious and unhappy.

It took guts and a lot of self examination to come to the decision to leave a safe job and start anew but here are five things, I learned in the process leading up to and following through on this (so far) best decision of my life:

  1. When you do what you love, it doesn't feel like work: nobody said you won't have to work anymore, but being passionate about what you do, is fulfilling and ultimately makes you provide a better service to the people you work with and for.
  2. The money will come: Changing careers is never easy. Whether it is in the same industry or doing something completely new. One good think you can do is have savings before changing careers. But then dive into the new direction and trust that you are doing the right thing. And your income will come to reflect that.
  3. Being passionate = being healthy: none of us can escape the occasional sniffles but overall, doing things and loving them will eliminate stress and anxiety from your life which pose an enormous threat to our system and mental and physical well-being.
  4. Being passionate attracts support: believe it or not, the more your body language screams "passion" and "satisfaction" the more people will gravitate towards you. It will shine through what you write and say and these new people in your life will want to help your cause and see it grow.
  5. Being passionate, will be a powerful teacher: just because you are suddenly doing what you love doesn't mean it will always be easy. There will be setbacks and you will need to deal with them. When you are passionate about something, giving up is not an option. This new situation will teach you to look at yourself closely, examine where you are stuck and force you to move through it.

Ever since I started working in wellness, I have seen all the points above come true. My old job felt like an obligation at times, a chore and necessary part of my life. The daily grind became my reality and I accepted it as how work should be.

Being passionate about what I do has helped me navigate all the things that we are confronted with in our work lives and made them a lot easier. It has taught me confidence and to trust that I am doing the right thing, or forced me to re-examine, adjust, adapt and find new ways of dealing with situations where things didn't work out.

Personally, I think there is no better way to grow in my life than to do what you love and ultimately that for me is the purest form of self-love.

Words on Wednesday: 5 ways to be more approachable

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I think I have mentioned it often how important my coach was to me. He was a mixture of a friend and a father figure after my dad passed early. He was a mentor and someone I could trust blindly and still would today... Connections like these are hard to find. Admittedly I am not a very trusting person and some of my close friends now would attest to that. They all initially interpreted my (intense) personality and lack of openness with arrogance and it usually took a long time for me to let them in... In NYC where every store clerk asks you how you are doing and where people greet you with "what's up?", I used to earnestly respond to the question and shake my head saying that I had seen better days. Upon which I would realize that it was a rhetorical question and the other person had long since moved on. My bad. I am not trusting but that doesn't mean that I am a superficial brute or not interested in you. It just takes me a tad longer to let my guard down while I explore if it's safe.

And now, I'm a personal trainer and my goal is to be approachable, happy, positive and a good motivator. Last week I had asked great clients of mine for a referral/ testimonial of the work with me and they came back SO detailed and beautiful they made my heart sing. It was a major acknowledgement that I am capable of creating an environment in which people enjoy working out and trust my knowledge and guidance. And may I just say, I am very fortunate to work with amazing people that make my job something I look forward to and come out of humming!

So how did I bring about something in my professional life, that I have had trouble with in my personal life? 5 things that I am applying more and better in my personal life now, too! Here's the breakdown:

  1. Wait and See: I used to jump into relationships head first, spilling my secrets, family history and many embarrassing details way too early. In a professional relationship that's not possible and that's a good thing. Waiting to see what people are like, if we get a along and are on the same page is something that I have taken from my work to my home. And it works.
  2. Look them in the Eye: we as a society don't like it. Eye contact feels intimidating, threatening almost and must be avoided at all times. But our eyes are the windows to our soul, so how could we? Looking at people for real means seeing through them but also showing them a certain vulnerability which will make them trust us more. It helps me to see whether someone I work with is tired, happy, exuberant, annoyed, etc. And I can respond appropriately.
  3. Lower your Voice: have you noticed that animals respond to lower voices with more calm? Horses slow down when we tell them and dogs obey commands better than if they are with a young child that shrieks and acts erratic. Low voices are perceived as sexy and warm. Don't we all wish we could make everyone swoon like Angelina? Even though we may resent their effect on men, but we want to be their friend, too... Check it out: Top Ten Women with Deep Voices
  4. Touch: The favourite part of many people, is Savasana usually because I or the yoga teacher gives us a quick kneading of the shoulders, touches our temples or pulls our neck straight. Humans need touch, we thrive on it. In families and friendships and of course relationships, happy hormones are released through cuddles and other physical forms of intimacy. It makes us all sigh when we see a senior couple that still have a very tender relationship, when they hold hands and lean their head on the others' shoulder.
  5. Laugh: for real! Don't fake it. Laugh and make it infectious. Laughter is great for a strong core and sharing deep gurgling belly laughs is a connection that is almost impossible to cut. Whatever happens in the future, you can be sure that you will remember those over any argument, disagreement or extra set of reps that I pushed you through!

So now, armed with this knowledge, I dare you to deepen your relationship with that person that your intuition has told you by now is safe, look them in the eye, grab their shoulders, tell them a joke (deep voice!) and then laugh it out together.

Just writing this puts a smile on my face.

xxR